From: LesterSchonbrun@.com
Subject: [change-links] Bush press conference
To: change-links@yahoogroups.com
Date: Sun, 14 Oct 2001 16:11:00 EDT
Reply-To: change-links@yahoogroups.com

Text: Bush's Press Conference

October 11, 2001 

By THE DISASSOCIATED PRESS


 

Text of President Bush's news conference Thursday night in
the East Room of the White House, as translated from the
Orwellian by ATerribleThingtoWaste, Inc.:

BUSH: Good evening. I would like to report to the American
people on the state of our so-called war against so-called
terror, and then I'll be happy to take puffball questions
from the White House lapdogs.

One month ago today, innocent citizens from more than 80
nations were attacked and killed without warning or
provocation in an act that horrified every American who had
not previously realized that the bombs we've been dropping
for decades kill decent working people with brothers,
sisters, sons, daughters, and parents.

The attack took place on American soil, but it was an attack
on the heart and soul of the civilized world.  By which I
mean the world that has killed 200 million people in its
wars of the last century, as well as hundreds of millions
more by vast waste of resources.

And the world has come together to fight a new and different
war; the first -- if we don't count Iraq, Yugoslavia, Congo,
etc -- and we hope the only (laughter) -- one of the 21st
century; a war against all those governments that supposedly
support or shelter terrorists, and which lie in the vicinity
of the oil and natural gas resources that Chevron has
acquired since the fall of the Evil Empire.

We've accomplished a great deal in one month. We've
threatened everyone on earth who isn't supine before us.
Nations from every continent on the Earth have indicated
that they understand the meaning of our iron fist in our
leaden glove.

This week, 56 Islamic nations issued a statement strongly
condemning the savage acts of terror.  Luckily for the
leaders of those nations, that statement did not reach the
ears of their citizenry, who overwhelmingly see current
events as a cynical attempt by my administration to turn a
tragedy into a quest for further world hegemony.

The men and women of the United States military are doing
their duty with scale and success, and, really, what other
choice do they have?  We have ruined terrorist training
camps -- you know, the tents with the big "T" on them --
disrupted Afghanistan's amazingly sophisticated
communication system, weakened the Taliban military, which,
as you know, is the fourth most powerful army on earth, and
destroyed one of their air defenses.  We will destroy the
other one tomorrow.

At the same time, we are showing the compassion of America
(laughter) by delivering food and medicine to the Afghan
people, who, of course, expectantly run toward any object
that drops from a U.S. plane, in hope that it may not be a
bomb.

We are aggressively pursuing the agents of terror around the
world, and we are aggressively strengthening our protections
here at home. This week, we established America's new Office
of Fatherland Fidelity directed by former Gov. Tom
Ridge. Americans tonight can know that while the threat is
ongoing, we are taking every possible step to crap up their
civil liberties.

BUSH: We must act to stimulate a slow economy, to help
laid-off workers by giving billions to their employers. And
we must, of course, fund our long neglected military.

This is a time of testing; in particular, a time of testing
the entire range of Raytheon's latest weapons of mass
destruction; this time of testing has revealed the true
character of the American people. We're angry at the evil
that was done to us, yet patient and just in our retaliation
on the bewildered denizens of the world's most desolate
slums.

Before Sept. 11, my administration was planning an
initiative called Communities of Character. It was designed
to help parents develop good character in their children and
to strengthen the spirit of citizenship and service in our
communities.  Before Sept. 11, people like me and Rudi
Giuliani would have been persona non grata in any such
organization, given my stolen election, and his callous
racist attacks on the victims of his homicidal police force.
The acts of Sept. 11 have benefitted my career and Rudi's in
ways far greater than I could have ever hoped or imagined.

We have shown great love for our country and great tolerance
and respect for all our countrymen.  (laughter)

Our war on terrorism has nothing to do with differences in
faith. It has everything to do with people of all faiths
coming together to condemn hate and evil and murder and
prejudice, at the same time our armies move forward to
protect the hundreds of trillions of cubic feet of natural
gas and billions of barrels of oil, newly obtained by
Chevron.  We must, above all else, provide access to those
fields and secure them.


And now I welcome your questions. 

Q: Thank you, sir. 

You said that the threat is ongoing

What can people do to protect themselves? 

BUSH: Sure.  I have urged my -- our fellow Americans to go
about their lives, to fly on airplanes, to shop, to travel,
to go to work, shop, and go back to work.

Now, if we receive specific intelligence, where we -- a
credible threat that targets a specific building or city or
facility, our government will do everything possible to
protect the citizens around, in or near that facility.
(Although I will admit that might be cold comfort to those
who are aware that, even after the first plane hit the WTC,
workers in the second tower were told there was no
danger. and to go on working.)

And let me give you one example of a specific threat we
received. You may remember recently there was a lot of
discussion about crop-dusters. We received knowledge that
perhaps an al-Qaida operative was prepared to use a
crop-duster to spray a biological weapon or a chemical
weapon on American people, and so we responded.

We found that there indeed *was* highly toxic material being
used.  But it was just the same stuff we've been using for
decades.  So we gave the all clear.  Now, the American
people have got to go about their business and go to work
and shop.

We cannot let the terrorists achieve the objective of
frightening our nation to the point where we all fly to
Nebraska at the first sign of trouble.


BUSH: And -- but the truth of the matter is, in order to
fully defend America, we must defeat the evildoers where
they hide.  We must round them up, and rope them, and we
must bring them to justice.

Q: Yes, Mr. President. Thank you. You've been careful to
avoid saying how long the military strikes in Afghanistan
might take place. But can you promise to say how long
American -- can you avoid being drawn into a Vietnam-like
quagmire in Afghanistan?

BUSH: We learned some very important lessons in Vietnam.
Perhaps the most important lesson that I learned was to
personally stay clear of it.  The other lesson is that you
cannot win a war against a united people merely by killing 3
million of them and making their land a living hell.  That
is why it is so important to increase our military spending.

As far as the use of conventional forces, we've got a clear
plan, and it's to say to the host government that, "You have
been given your chance."  Then we bomb the living s--- out
of them on CNN.

Q: Thank you, Mr. President. Sir, some critics have
expressed doubts about trying to get nations that once
sponsored terrorism to now cooperate in the effort against
terrorism.  Would you share your thinking with us, sir?

BUSH: We learned a good lesson on Sept. 11, that there is
evil in this world, although Laura claims she had already
known about it.

I think it's essential that all moms and dads and citizens
who are not moms or dads tell their children we love them
and there is love in the world, but also remind them there
are evil people, and that Mr. Bush knows who they are, and
will kill them.


Q: Mr. President, what are Americans supposed to look for
and report to the police or to the FBI?

BUSH: You know, if you find a person that you've never seen
before getting in a crop-duster that doesn't belong to you,
carrying a canister marked "Anthrax," report it.

If you see potential evildoers lurking around petrochemical
plants, for gosh sake report it to law enforcement.  I mean,
use your common sense.

Before we leave, I want to make a special request to the
children of America. I ask you to join in a special effort
to help the children of Afghanistan. Their country has been
through a great deal of war and suffering, ever since the
Carter administration started the long process of
overthrowing the progressive government which existed there,
because it was friendly to the USSR.

Many children there are starving and are severely
malnourished.  One in three Afghan children is an orphan,
and, after today's bombing that ratio may become worse,
almost half suffer chronic malnutrition, and we can and must
help them.

Winter is coming, and by acting today we can help the ones
who survive our bombs.

Thank you for your questions.

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